Only if you desire

A note from last night ..... I love the ambiance there 

We are at rehearsals, the group is working on the design of the second half of our play with our director.... I have less to do, just run through of my scenes and some movements to note, practically doing nothing. Me and my girl friend are trying to gossip softly (Sir hates distractions and we can't go out, we hate mosquitoes :D) , we are taking snaps trying hard not to get caught, both are writing random stuff side by  (she is using a pen for the love of paper and I have these BB buttons to quickly write down my scribbled- scattered thoughts)  , we are sitting in one corner of this room, observing everyone and questioning our very own purpose in this life, she  says, " Chitra I am scared of something" , I am like, scared of what dear?, she answers " I don't know yet!" .... And that thought surprises me a bit! Suddenly I remember I have this book with me, Title reads "Think and Grow Rich",  I share it with her and as she turns the pages, she finds her answers, satisfying her temporarily, we discuss briefly then leave it,  fortunately I have cultivated this habit of carrying one book with me anywhere I go, so that I don't  waste much time and get less angry when I am forced to wait, this habit has developed a room for elaborating random thoughts that pass by and are buried otherwise. 

Hours and hours of practice , sometimes with dialogues, at times just working on the design and noting down my extra entries and exits, working on expressions, this time being my vivacious best on stage (otherwise I of course am), all this is completely new for me. Yes I did act in an English play before this, that was my last blog post mostly, month of Oct! So ya this time I am acting in a play on Maharaja Sayajirao's life. Our cultural capital Vadodara and its King, just so fascinating to learn about all this. It gives me a royal feeling. I am playing this small role of Maharaja Sayajirao's second wife , Maharani  Chimnabai II. After the premature demise of Maharani Laxmidevi (Chimnabai I) in 1885, Sayajirao III wedded for the second time with Gajrabai from Devas province, who was renamed as Chimnabai II. I have seen her pictures and I know a bit about this woman, she was a knowledgeable woman. A woman who was equally involved and interested in Raja's work for  Praja's welfare. She made Sayajirao fell in love with her by giving her support throughout. She made efforts to make his dreams come true. She was the one who supported education a lot. A woman of substance, we can say. When you look at her pictures on net or from other collections, you can observe the way she sits and stands, her posture reflects confidence and belief in her husband's work. I am quite loving this character in my play. Initially I wasn't sure  whether I would be able to play her or not but then I found myself in her. 

Chamki : there is a hidden desire to live few moments of this life as a princess, that desire is helping me, am quite sure. Also I thought I would marry like a princess, with full grandeur and pompous ( Not being practical at at this moment, just for now, I wouldn't want to waste to much money, it does matter :D ) So basically I am Romancing Sayajirao on stage, in front of all the public, that also has a bit of original me cause generally I am quite romantic ! I am like announcing my romantic skills, is it? So what haha!  I have always been my romantic best in relationships.

I recollect my crazy dreams in which I use to expose my emotions on stage, applause in my ears, smiling eyes starring at me all the way, while I am holding a mike to say a few words, yes that's how they do it,  right ? .... some small - big celebrities. How I wished these small dreams to come true some day. I had given up all the hopes. Not anymore. You know it always come to be but quite quite late than expected. 

Nothing could be better than this opportunity to re-live those dreams. I attended a workshop and with my friends' suggestion, I was set for this one.Also I am playing Chimnabai I, without dialogues in the first half, that too with a different saree.There is this whole excitement of wearing saree in rehearsals, the idea of wearing a nine yard saree on stage, too attractive and tempting. I never knew saree was so damn comfortable and easy to carry and much more easier to wear until I started rehearsing in them. 

 

One's mind is ones master! Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill is a book for life time. Its a personal- success ,self- help book. You must read and make others read. 

We both are talking more now with few breaks, fiddling with our phones, am still with you my  dear reader, well actually I can't say that because I am not expressing for you to appreciate, rather I am writing for my note, just like several other notes situation-ally saved in BB note pad for my future reference and collection, more  for utilizing this valuable time of mine, eyes on the activities happening around. Our dance choreographers at their energetic best. Designing work nearing the end for tonight, looks like will take 20 more mins here ..... my cell clock reads 11 :00 pm, such is my routine since last one month. late night outs are finally a part of my routine, am no more jealous of my guy friends :D! Thanks to Theatre practice sessions. Occasionally late night chai's and gossips, new cool friends, working for something you love, hugging it totally.

This was a time saver, I have more inside my head,  may be later!